Moving

Hi, my name is Elise Evans, and I am a hoarder. *Hi Elise....*

Okay, no not really.  But sometimes I feel that way! Moving into a new house has made me realize how much CRAP I own! I go through boxes and have to laugh at my thought processess.....processeese? Hm.  It goes like this:

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*Curtain Opens to E sitting on her living room floor, surrounded by towers of boxes and random artifacts strewn about the floor.  Grabbing the nearest box, she upends it into the growing pile of junk and digs in*

 E: "What is this crap?  I swear this can't be mine......*picks up what looks to be a tulle skirt* ....Must belong to a sister or old roommate....I should really try to figure out who it belongs to......NAH. DI!!!

*She then tosses the skirt into an overflowing box in the corner*

E: This isn't so bad.....what's next?  *Grabs an old belt that hasn't been worn in about 2 years* Hmm....this belt is so cute, but I don't really wear it.  In fact, I think I haven't worn in since freshman year....I should probably give it to DI.....but what if I suddenly want to wear it?  Maybe right after I donate it, I'll find the PERFECT outfit for it, and then I'll be overcome with the NEED to wear my belt, but I won't be able to because I donated it and then that outfit will be ruined because I gave away that belt!!! It's decided.  I shall keep the belt *Belt is firmly and securely placed in the chosen box of "to keep". *

*E continues to sort until she reaches a pair of shoes*

E:  Oh no.  This is like the belt.  I haven't worn these in a while, so I should give them away.  But what if I need them?  Wait.  If I kept the belt than I really shouldn't keep these shoes.  Only one useless item allowed...not two! *Fetches belt back out of the box* Okay, now which one?  Hmmm....belts break more and no one sees them really, but shoes end up hurting your feet......GAH!  Okay.  Deep breath.  You can choose.  Just get rid of it.  Do it. Pick one you pansy!!!  You are RIDICULOUS WOMAN!!! You'll probably never wear them anyways, etc. etc. etc. *After several minutes of this, E is huddled in a ball (fetal style) and muttering to herself insanely*

FIN

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Pretty much, nothing good comes from me sorting things.  I usually spiral into such a cycle of self-hate and inner turmoil that I give everything away to thrift stores.  This is something I then usually regret because by that point I get rid of things that I really would wear/need within a couple of days.  *le sigh*

ANYWAYS.  I'm not crazy, I swear.  :)  So the whole point of me cleaning is this:  I've moved into my new house!  The issue?  This is the only closet in the whole house. 

  For me AND Ben.  If you've seen my clothing collection, you know this is no good.  Boo.  Oh well.  The rest of the house is turning out okay.  :)